Being Human Is Hard

Being human is hard.

I am a sucker for golf, especially Rory McIlroy. Before his first Masters win in 2025, he was searching for the elusive green jacket to complete the career Grand Slam. By his own admission, he did not know if it would ever come.

Before the event, a reporter asked him: "You made a comment when you left the Players that you have to be willing to get your heart broken, and you had a spell where you just didn't want to do that. Why do you think that was, and what have you figured out about that?"

His response stopped me:

"I think it's a self preservation mechanism. It’s just more of a thing where you’re trying to not put 100% of yourself out there because of that. It happens in all walks of life. At a certain point in someone’s life, someone doesn’t want to fall in love because they don’t want to get their heartbroken.

People, I think, instinctually as human beings we hold back sometimes because of the fear of getting hurt, whether that’s a conscious decision or subconscious decision, and I think I was doing that on the golf course a little bit for a few years.

But I think once you go through that, once you go through those heartbreaks… You get to a place where you remember how it feels and you wake up the next day and you’re like, yeah, life goes on. It’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be…

It’s going through those times, especially in recent memory, where the last few years I’ve had chances to win some of the biggest golf tournaments in the world and it hasn’t quite happened. But life moves on. You dust yourself off and you go again. I think that’s why I've become a little more comfortable in laying everything out there and being somewhat vulnerable at times"

- Rory McIlroy

You Have Permission to Be Human

Keep in mind this is coming from one of the best golfers to ever swing a club.

His vulnerability and eloquence about life is relieving. We all want to appear competent, put together, and confident.

But here is the truth: I do not care who you are - as humans, we all struggle with this at some point in our lives.

Inadequacy. Second-guessing. Thinking others have it all figured out. After things not going how you planned, it is hard to strap them back up and put yourself back out there.

Many times, it is not even the rejection. It is the fear of rejection that stops us from taking the first step.

When we hear someone of Rory's stature say things like this, it reminds us: we have permission to feel and think the same.

The Fear Is Real

We all have goals, aspirations, and passions that we may or may not pursue.

One of the things that separates people from accomplishing those is putting themselves out there and actually taking the first step.

After the first step, there will be no's. Days where you look in the mirror and ask "Am I good enough?" Days where you think it would just be easier to not even give it a try.

Finding your way to push through these roadblocks - relationships, exercise, time off, therapy -is critical. Because they will be inevitable throughout the journey.

The fear of failure and rejection is real.

I have experienced it myself. And to be honest with you, I have struggled with it the last handful of years.

Through a divorce. Leaving the military. Starting my own business.

I have felt what Rory was alluding to. A taste of failure, a taste of life not turning out the way you thought it would, a taste of "should I even put myself back out there?"

It is a constant journey that I continually need to put in work. Learning from past experiences, introspection, and therapy to do the work. Not being afraid of the failure that could happen when putting myself back out there.

You Are Not Alone

To any of you reading this: you are human and you will go through the same things.

I hope this can give you the fuel to keep going. To lean on others when needed. To keep dreaming.

Being human is hard. But you do not have to do it alone.

Shout out to Kyle Porter and Normal Sport for the great book on Rory's 1st Masters championship. His book and commentary was the premise of this post. Buy it here: The Weight of Rory

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